IS ONLINE DATING WORTH IT?

It can seem a bit daunting to put in all of that effort only to meet someone and not feel any chemistry with them, or to meet someone and get rejected. You might wonder if all the time, effort, and money that you will invest in online dating will be worth it.

But consider the alternative. If you don’t use online dating to try and find a partner, what will you try? Bars? Nightclubs? Bookstores? The grocery store? Online dating might involve a bit of time and effort but the chances of meeting someone special are far higher if you use online dating instead of a more traditional method of meeting someone.

No one wants to end up alone and, unfortunately, sometimes it takes awhile to find that special someone. If you don’t put yourself out there then not only will you miss your chance to find that special someone, you could miss out on that special someone finding you.

Besides, isn’t finding real, lasting love worth a bit of time, effort, and money? Can you put a price on the loneliness that you will feel if you end up growing old alone? Don’t give up without a fight. Put yourself out there. Chances are good that you will find someone that you want to have a relationship with.

It may take some time to find the right online dating site for you and to build a great profile and get great photos for your profile, but at least by going online and trying online dating you are taking control of your life and trying to help make your life better by finding someone to share it with.

It can be scary to take the risk of trying online dating but do it anyway. You’ll be glad that you did. When you find that person that makes your heart flutter and your stomach jump, you will be glad that you tried online dating after all.

Online Dating, We need to be able to learn from rejection

Instead of dwelling on the fact that one of the people you were interested in online rejected you, it would be better to use your energy to figure out why they rejected you and work on correcting it.
Maybe there was no problem; maybe it just wasn’t mean to be. That could certainly be the case. That is just a part of life and you need to just move on. But maybe there was something you could have done differently that would have improved your chances.
If you have been rejected a lot and you want to know if there is something that you’re doing that is off-putting to your dates, ask a friend to go on a ‘date’ with you. Dress and act exactly like you would if you were meeting that friend for the first time. Your friend can let you know if you are not coming across as confident, or if your clothes send the wrong message, or if there are other things you can do to present yourself in a better way.
That might seem silly at first, but think about it. What better way to get an idea of how you come across on a date than to have one of your friends tell you their opinion? It can be a great learning tool.
For other useful tools to help you learn more about online dating, look on the website of the online dating service that you use. Many of the online dating services offer an entire library of helpful articles, advice columns, quizzes, and other tools to help their members create great profiles and plan great dates.
If you are still having trouble figuring out why the other person didn’t want to see you, it might be a good idea to ask him or her. Just ask once, and if you don’t get a response don’t push the issue but it might be helpful to hear directly from him or her why they didn’t want to go on another date with you.
Just be sure that if you do ask for honest feedback that you’re ready to handle it. You might get back an answer you don’t want to hear like “You’re too fat” or “You’re too skinny” or “You were boring.” Those things can be painful to hear.
Try not to see the rejection as a personal insult but as a learning experience and it will be much easier to move on. Take comfort in knowing that everyone gets rejected, many times, and that eventually, if you keep going you can find someone who loves you because you’re you.

Online Dating, Dealing With Rejection

Sometimes, you will be the one that is getting rejected. It’s unpleasant. It hurts. It’s humiliating. And it happens to everyone. It’s entirely possible that you can meet the love of your life online but, unfortunately, it’s also entirely possible that you will face a lot of rejection before you find that love.
So how do you deal with it when someone that you thought you really connected with doesn’t want to see you again? It’s tough. No matter how many times it happens it’s always tough. It is okay to feel bad about it.
If you were getting along very well with the other person before you met in person and after that the other person didn’t want to see you again it’s easy to assume that the problem was the way you look or that the person didn’t find you attractive but that might not be it at all. There could be a thousand reasons that the other person didn’t want to pursue the relationship.
Not every relationship is going to work out. If you have a hard time handling rejection then online dating might be hard for you. Sometimes, people can find great relationships right away but sometimes people need to wade through a lot of ads and a lot of first dates before finding a person that they want to pursue a serious relationship with.
As you get more experienced at dating online you will grow a thicker skin and it will be easier to shrug it off when someone you thought that you had some chemistry with decided that he or she doesn’t want to see you again.
If it makes you feel better to wallow a little after getting rejected then go right ahead and wallow. Spend a weekend on the couch in your pajamas with a pizza and a gallon of ice cream watching chick flicks and crying. Go out with your buddies to drink and talk about how the other person lost out on a great catch. Do whatever you need to do in order to help you get over it.
Then pick yourself up and try again. It might not be easy to find the love of your life but he or she is out there and you will never find that person if you’re not looking. You don’t have to jump into another relationship right away but at least update your online profile and search through some profiles to see if you find any of them interesting.


Remember the saying about the lottery, “You have to be in it to win it”? Well, in order to win the dating lottery you have to put your profile out there and face a little rejection from time to time.

Online Dating, AFTER THE DATE

So you made it through the first meeting. Now what? Do you want to see that person again? Does he or she want to see you? A good indication that the other person wants to see you again is if he or she calls two or three days after the date or sends an email.
You can also call or send an email two or three days after the date if you want to see that person again. But wait a couple of days after the date to contact the person again. If you call or write immediately after the date you will look needy.

IF YOU BOTH WANT TO MEET AGAIN
Success! You have now entered your first relationship that came from online dating. If you both liked each other and felt some chemistry then you should start dating. You might want to put your profile with the online dating service on hold while you date so that you don’t get any more people trying to contact you while you are in a relationship.

If you think that the chances of meeting someone that you will want to have a serious relationship with online are slight, think again. Millions of couples all over the world have gotten married to someone they met through an online dating service. You can indeed find a great spouse and partner through online dating.


IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE THAT PERSON AGAIN
It can be hard when you don’t want to see the other person again. Maybe you didn’t feel any chemistry or maybe you just didn’t like the person after hanging out with him or her for awhile. For whatever reason, you have decided that you don’t want to see that person again, but that person wants to go out with you again. Now what do you do?
Your first instinct will probably be to just block that person’s email address and delete their phone messages without listening to them until he or she takes the hint and goes away. But that’s the coward’s way out. The other person will be able to see that you are still active on the dating site. He or she will know you’re avoiding them.
You need to be perfectly honest with that person and tell him or her nicely that you don’t want to pursue a relationship with them. It can be hard but you owe it to that person to be honest and respectful. Send a polite email explaining that you didn’t feel any chemistry and don’t want to pursue the relationship. Don’t just ignore him or her.

Online Dating, HOW TO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION

Everyone wants to make a good first impression on their dates. Some rules for making a good impression apply only to women, and some only to men.

But there are some ways that everyone can make a good impression.
• Stand up straight
• Make eye contact often
• Be confidence
• Get your hair cut or styled before the date
• Polish your shoes
• Get a manicure
• Go easy on the perfume or cologne
• Pay attention to your date
• Don’t fidget
• Don’t expect your date to pay
• Be respectful to the wait staff in a restaurant or coffee shop
• Don’t swear
• Make your date laugh
• Be on time
• Have nice manners

If you do all of these things and treat your date in a polite and respectful way then you’ll probably have a wonderful time and your date will definitely be impressed with you.

Online Dating, WHAT NOT TO DO ON A FIRST DATE

When you’re trying to make a good impression on a first date, there are some things that you should never do. Man or woman, doing any of these things is almost guaranteed to make sure that the other person won’t want to see you again.
Don’t be late – Being late is rude and disrespectful. It tells the other person that you don’t care enough about meeting them to bother being on time. Don’t be late. It’s just that simple.
Now, if an emergency arises, like you got into an accident on the way to the meeting place, or you got lost, or something of that nature it’s understandable to be late. Sometimes, things do happen that can make you late.
But if that happens you need to call the other person as soon as you know you are going to be late and explain what happened. Together, you can decide if you want to reschedule or if the other person will wait for you to arrive.
Don’t ask questions that are too personal, remember that you have really just met the other person. Don’t ask questions that might make the other person uncomfortable. Don’t discuss sex or ask any questions about sex.
Don’t discuss controversial subjects – Have you heard the old adage that you shouldn’t discuss religion or politics at a party? Well, the same goes for a first date. Leave the discussion of serious topics that might be sensitive for when you know the other person better.
Don’t run away – Even if you don’t find the other person attractive when you meet, you should never just leave. Don’t sneak out when that person is in the restroom or away from the table. Don’t pretend to get a phone call and dash out.
If you really don’t find the person attractive and feel that you can’t even sit and have a cup of coffee and talk with that person for a little while then you need to tell the person that you’re sorry but you just don’t see any future for the two of you and leave.
Even if you don’t find the other person attractive after you meet you should still be kind and respectful. There’s no need to be mean about it, just tell them the truth.

Online Dating, What to wear on a first date

For both men and women, choosing what to wear to that first meeting can be a nerve-wracking experience. You want to look nice but not formal, comfortable but not sloppy, and, of course, you need to wear something appropriate for the place that you’re meeting.

Since you have talked to your online date but not met yet, there is even more anxiety than there would be with a normal date because you will be really nervous about the other person finding you attractive. But you can get through it!

So how can you find the perfect thing to wear that will make a great first impression? Here are some tips for picking out the perfect outfit to wear on your first date.

Comfort is essential – Since the situation is already going to be a little awkward and uncomfortable, it’s important that you are wearing something that is comfortable so that you will feel comfortable and not be fussing with your clothes all night.

If you are uncomfortable in your clothes, that will show in how you interact with your date and it will make you both uncomfortable. So picking an outfit that is comfortable and flattering is the most important thing.

Pick something appropriate – What you wear should be appropriate for where you are going. If you are going out for coffee, dressy jeans and a nice sweater or shirt and jacket should be fine. If you’re going to the park, don’t wear a mini skirt or a business suit and tie. Plan an outfit appropriate for the location.

If you think that you might want to get dinner or something after the initial meeting you can bring a bag with a nicer outfit in it in case you need to change.
Don’t dress too sexy – This is a mistake that a lot of people, especially women, make when meeting for the first time. Pick an outfit that is sexy in an understated way if you want to dress a little sexy. Feminine and sophisticated is far sexier on a first date than a shrink wrapped dress, cleavage baring top, or micro mini skirt and high heels.

Your outfit will be a big part of the first impression that you make so pay attention to things like cut, color, shape, and the quality of the clothes. Never wear clothes that are dirty, ripped, or that you would wear to the gym on a date.

Online Dating, THE BEST PLACES FOR A FIRST DATE

Now that you know where not to take your date the first time you meet, you’re probably wondering what the best places are for a first date with someone from an online dating service. Here are some of the best places to meet for that first date.
Coffee shops – Some people think that meeting at a coffee shop is unromantic but it doesn’t have to be. Meeting at a coffee shop is practical because coffee shops are relaxed environments, usually, that encourage conversation. You can get a beverage and settle in for a nice chat.

When the date goes well you can talk for hours or you can make plans to meet again for dinner or to talk later. If the date goes badly you can have a quick coffee and leave. Coffee shops are very busy places with lots of people so they are the perfect spot for a first meeting.

The park is a great place to meet, provided you meet during the day when there are likely to be lots of people around. You can go for a walk, play on the swings, or just sit on a bench and talk. Going to the park on a nice day can be a great first meeting spot that is also free.

What about Brunch,If you do want to meet for a meal instead of a long dinner, try meeting for weekend brunch. The food is great, and there may be some alcohol around but not that much. Brunch is quick and doesn’t usually take hours like dinner does. Brunch is also a very festive meal where people are more relaxed and the atmosphere is more conducive to conversation.

A dinner, like a coffee shop, is a place where people like to gather and hang out. Friendly and low-key, a diner is great because you can just have a quick cup of coffee if you find that you don’t have any chemistry with the other person or want to end the meeting. Or you can stay and order some food and just hang out and talk if the meeting is great and you find that you don’t want to end the meeting.

Window shopping may sounds a bit crazy but the local mall can be a really fun place to meet for the first time. It’s very public, there are all kinds of food and beverages available, and you can sit at a table in the food court, talk and people watch, or you can window shop in fun stores.

Online dating, WORST PLACES FOR A FIRST DATE

In view of the fact that you want to keep that first date low key and in public, there are some places that you should definitely not go for a first date with someone you have met online. Here are a few of the places and activities to avoid when you are planning a first date with a new love from the Internet.

Family functions is not what you want for your Internet date to know too many personal things about you including where your family lives. You also shouldn’t subject someone you’ve never met to your family functions if there’s a chance you want to go out with them again.
Nightclubs are never a good choice for a date because you won’t be able to talk or get to know each other. Plus the presence of alcohol might make things awkward or unsafe.

A concert or theater show you should generally avoid anything with tickets as a first date when you are meeting someone you have never met before. If you don’t like the person you will be stuck with them at the event for at least two hours in most cases. If you are interested in the person you won’t have much chance to talk and get to know one another. Save the theater, movie, or other event for another date. This goes for sporting events as well.

Not the beach as your nerves will already be on edge wondering what the other person will think of you. Do you want to add appearance anxiety over how you look in a bathing suit to that stress? Save the beach for a romantic date later on.

Maybe a Museums. Even though a museum sounds like a great place to meet, you have to remember that you will be meeting for the first time so you want to go somewhere that you can talk and assess if you want to see that person again. The intellectual atmosphere of a museum might be too much for a quick first meeting. Once you have been on a few dates together and know that you share a love of art or science then think about scheduling a museum date.

Lavish or expensive restaurants – If you are meeting your date for dinner it can be intimidating to meet in a very exclusive and expensive restaurant. Also, if the date doesn’t go well you will have spent a fortune on dinner for nothing. Skip the fancy restaurants on the first date. So next post what is a good first date.

Online Dating, STAYNG SAFE WHEN YOU MEET FOR THE FIRST TIME

No one wants to think that the exciting new person they met online might be a rapist, murderer, stalker, or psycho. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.
It might seem overly fussy to take all of these precautions to protect your safety but wouldn’t you rather be fussy then get into a situation where you might get hurt or even killed? Even though it might seem unnecessary, follow these tips and tricks for staying safe the first time you meet someone that you found online.
Meet at the place of the date – Don’t tell the person where you live or invite him or her to your house. Meet at the place of the date instead. If the date doesn’t work out then you probably don’t want this person knowing where you live or what the layout of your house is like.
Always meet in public yes it sounds so simple but it can save your life. Never invite a stranger to your home for your first date or go somewhere very secluded. Meet in a public place like a restaurant, mall, or even a park. Anywhere that has a constant flow of peole in and out so that there are always people around is a good place to hold a first meeting.
Stay safe on that first date
Have a cell phone and make sure that the battery on your cell phone is fully charged and that you have plenty of minutes on it if it’s a pre-paid cell.
If your phone has a GPS tracking device on it, turn the device on for the evening. Keep your cell phone somewhere that is easily accessible, like your coat pocket or pants pocket. Don’t leave the cell phone in your car; keep it on you if at all possible.
Tell everyone where you are going yes let your friends or family know where you are going and what time the date is scheduled for. Print out a copy of your date’s online personals profile and write down the person’s name, phone number, and address if you have it.
It only takes a few minutes to gather all the information that you have on your new date but if something were to happen it would give your friends and family or the police the information they need to start looking for you.
Take cash with you as we mostly use our ATM/Debit cards for everyday purchases and don’t really carry much cash, but it’s a good idea to have some cash in handwhen you’re going to meet someone new.
Watch your drink, even if you are just having coffee or having soda or tea with dinner and not an alcoholic drink you should always keep an eye on your drink.
It would be very easy for your date to drop something into your drink or even into your food when you weren’t looking.
Never, Never leave your drink unattended. Finish your drink or your food before using the restroom, if possible. If thats not possible, when you come back from the restroom don’t finish your food and order a new drink, just to be sure.
Watch your belongings – Keep an eye on your purse or wallet and know where they are at all times. Make sure that you have your important items like driver’s license, credit card, and cash in a hidden pocket if possible.
Ladies, if you get up to use the restroom, take your purse with you; don’t leave it sitting at the table. Guys, never leave your wallet on the table or take it out of your pocket except to pay the check.
Do not get drunk when you meet in a bar or restaurant for a couple of drinks, make sure that you know your limits. Don’t get drunk and be sure to get an appetizer or some kind of snack with your drinks to balance out the alcohol you’re drinking.
Pay attention to your date’s body language – Watch how your date behaves and how his or her body language is. Does your date seem controlling or bullying like insisting on ordering for you or insisting that you have more to drink? That’s a red flag and you should be wary.
If your date seems nervous, anxious, or keeps checking his or watch, that could be a sign that they are not having a good time or a sign that something else is going on but either way, if that’s the case, it might be time to end the date.
Don’t wear constricting clothing or too-high heels – Ladies this one is for you. You need to be comfortable, and you need to be mobile. Never wear clothing so constricting you couldn’t move in it or shoes with heels so high you couldn’t run if you had to.
These precautions are just to keep you safe and are a good idea to use whenever you are dating even if meeting the person in a more traditional way. Staying safe is important, so take safety and security seriously. Most likely, you won’t need any of these security measures but just in case, its good idea to follow them when you’re on that first date.