“I’m very into alternative lifestyles, are you? I really like to explore boundaries. Have you been with a lot of people in the past? What kinds of things are you into? We should go out and talk about some of our interests. There’s a club in town having a bondage night next week; let’s go to that and you should wear some leather. I bet you’d look hot in it!”
If the first email that you get from someone is full of sexual innuendo or asks a lot of very personal questions about sex and your sexual preferences, that is a huge red flag.
Someone who is really interested a relationship with you would never ask those kinds of questions. Obviously, someone whose first email to you is full of graphic language is only looking for one thing. Delete those emails immediately unless that is the kind of relationship you’re looking for.
The email doesn’t have to be graphic to make you uncomfortable. Any email that asks any questions that seem overly invasive or personal to you should just be deleted.
Too Much Information
“So anyway I was just laid off from my job as a CSR and I’m not quite sure how I’m going to swing rent this month. Good thing I don’t have my kids for a few weeks because I’m not sure I’ll have anyplace for them to sleep. Ha ha! But I’d really like for us to meet, although you might have to pay for dinner because I’m pretty broke right now. If this sounds good to you write me back!”
Anyone that writes you a book length email detailing all their problems with their job, ex-spouse, kids, life in general, health problems, financial problems, or other negative things is not someone you want to date. Anyone that gives out too much personal information in their first email is someone you should avoid.
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